Hello friends,
Shoe boxes decorated in red construction paper, cut-out hearts in pink and white, names displayed in bold print, wait in anticipation for Valentine cards. Memories.
Either you love Valentine’s Day and all its trappings, or you hold the commercialism and false expectations in disdain. The rest of us fall between paying attention or ignoring the flood of roses, candy, and greeting cards cluttering the supermarket aisles.
I fall into the love it category despite the mass marketing shrouding what I consider “the heart” and purpose of the day. I like to think that this is one day when we all agree on the importance of respect and love for humanity.
Two perspectives on love crossed my path this week. The first came from Alison Gopnick’s book on parenting, The Gardener and the Carpenter, and applies beyond the parent/child relationship.
Love doesn’t have goals or benchmarks or blueprints, but it does have a purpose. The purpose is not to change the people we love, but to give them what they need to thrive. Love’s purpose is not to shape our beloved’s destiny, but to help them shape their own. It isn’t to show them the way, but to help them find a path for themselves, even if the path they take isn’t one we would choose ourselves, or even one we would choose for them.
With so much fear consuming the news, the poet Gary Snyder framed love as paying attention to something we care about deeply.
The first step, I think… is to make us love the world rather than to make us fear for the end of the world. Make us love the world… and then begin to take better care of it.
In The Art of Noticing, Rob Walker notes that “by nurturing or caring for something, you pay more attention to it.” Rob’s thoughts led me to connect another message from Randy Woodley on mending and taking care of our relationships with one another and the earth. He lists a few ancient values derived from his Indigenous ancestors. They remind us to pay attention and take better care of what we love.
Respect: Respect everyone. Everyone and everything is sacred.
Harmony: Seek harmony and cooperation with people and nature.
Friendship: Increase the number and depth of your close friends and family.
Humor: Laugh at yourself; we are merely human.
Equality: Everyone expresses their voice in decisions.
Authenticity: Speak from your heart.
History: Learn from the past. Live presently by looking back.
Balance work and rest: Work hard, but rest well.
Generosity: Share what you have with others.
Accountability: We are all interconnected. We are all related.
Happy Valentine’s Day and/or use the day to celebrate what makes us better humans.
Camera in hand, I go searching for wonder. I discover two roses. They teach me a lesson in hope and patience.
A little wisdom and helpful tip this week: Love is not mind-reading.
A musical reminder from Elton John . . .
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.
—John Lennon
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With gratitude,
Kathryn
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Thank you. I am always amazed how the universe works to spread our thoughts far into crevices we never know existed.
A smile on my dial reading your words this morning...love...the topic of a the term in a philosophy class I participate in.
The synchronicity...magic x
Thanks again and always for being you. x