I have a personal question for you today.
It's time to be truthful.
Hello friend,
Did you make up your bed this morning?
I don’t remember ever not making up my bed in the morning. Well, I take that back. There were quite a few years when I left for work before my husband was awake. The bed was not made except for the weekend during those years.
When I was growing up, making up your bed was expected. At least, that’s what I remember. To this day, the first, or at least the third thing I do in the morning, is make up the bed. I don’t think about or ponder whether or not I should any more than I would question whether or not to breathe.
As I made the bed this week, I tried to trace the source of this compulsion. I’ve always attributed this near-fanatical behavior to an expectation, no, command I received as a child. But when I tried to recall even one occasion where the main reason for a scolding centered on an unmade bed, I could not.
Our memories fade and morph our experiences beyond reality.
As the oldest, I thought my sister, 15 years younger, might have another perspective or received a similar command. Her response:
“I did [make up my bed every day,] but I don’t remember anyone telling me to do that. I just assumed you had to make it up.”
So, why did we grow up never questioning, only complying, well into adulthood?
My mother always made the beds each morning. I watched my grandmother make the bed every morning. Our lives contain habits, and routines we follow without thinking about them. We assume, like I did that, everyone does it.
When my wandering mind began chasing this idea, I discovered that some people leave the bed unmade to air out the bedding to reduce dust mites.
Ten years ago, Naval Adm. William H. McRaven spoke to the graduates of the University of Texas and wrote a book based on his core life tenets.
Number 1—“If you want to change the world…start off by making your bed.” McRaven views this simple first task as a key to productivity.
My brief exploration didn’t find any experimental research on the effects of bedmaking on our productivity. I did find plenty of opinions and anecdotal evidence to support both sides of the issue.
My conclusion: habits, good and bad, play a powerful role in our lives. Some habits become so ingrained that we never question why we do what we do.
We assume everyone shares our way of doing things. “Our way” can color our perceptions of others.
I know many marvelous, world-changing people who rarely, if ever, make their bed. “To make or not to make” a bed—does it matter?
Habits of love and kindness—now that matters.
Want to make a better world? I suggested a kindness habit.
In this interview with James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, he explains how small habits and a two-minute rule make a difference. If you have 10 minutes, watch this motivational speech on why small habits matter.
A few musical reminders of how habits make a difference: Love Is Still the Answer, Jason Mraz; Put a Little Love in Your Heart, Jackie DeShannon; and Imagine, John Lennon.
"All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time."
— James Clear, Atomic Habits
If you would like to read more from me, visit my website. I’ll be there waiting for you.
With gratitude,
Kathryn
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I did make my bed today. But it's usually my husband who does it. His mother was of the same opinion as you - mind you, she had 6 kids, so of course they all had to pitch in.
Oh, and when I was a new mum in a strange country, one of the things I did to create some kind of normalcy in that surreal time of being a first-time mum, completely sleep deprived, was have a shower and make my bed.