I’m learning how to listen
And it requires more than my ears.
Hello friends,
When you reach a certain age, the mind works overtime pulling you into memories. This tendency to reflect can drive an overthinker like myself to run rampant in fields of thoughts, milestones, and conversations.
That’s where I found myself this week. Every conversation seems important these days. Not because of the weight of the topic or any urgency, instead, I recognize the precious nature of now.
May you embrace this day, not just as any old day.
Your day. Held in trust by you, in a singular place, called now.
—Carrie Newcomer
I considered all the conversations in my lifetime and wondered how often I fully listened and brought my full attention to the moment. Since I didn’t keep score, I can only surmise that my results hit about average.
A side comment from an article sent me searching for what it means to listen well. We hear sounds, noises, people, the wind all day, every day. Most of the time, what we hear becomes invisible, a hum barely recognizable.
I want to become a “now” listener who stops multitasking, remains open to new ideas, sees you in your wholeness, and listens with ears, eyes, and heart.
Somewhere, I learned interjecting my experiences into your story signaled I was engaged in our conversation and empathetic. Without realizing it, I turned the focus from you to me.
I know many superb listeners who never grow impatient with me. Their unselfish willingness to stop talking and listen has taught me the value of leaving space for intentional silence, a breath, a moment that says more than words.
One of the greatest gifts we give to others and ourselves is our full and undivided attention. I worry when I see families and couples in a restaurant with each other on their devices. We seem to fear the silence, the space between us where we can listen. We rush to fill the pause with distractions, or we talk over each other, never fully listening as our brains calculate the words we are about to speak.
Like kindness, listening doesn’t cost anything, and I’m still learning to do both better.
A one-sentence story and a reflection: Yes, I'm Ready to Listen
The musician and podcast creator, Hrishikesh Hirway, draws on his experience in composing and listening to music to share what you discover when you really listen.
Listen, but never wait to Say what you need to say. Tomorrow may be too late.
Deep listening is an act of surrender. We risk being changed by what we hear.
—Valarie Kaur
It is not the hearing that improves life, but the listening.
—Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
If you want to read more from me, visit my website. I’ll be there waiting for you.
With gratitude,
Kathryn
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