Lessons on friendship
They usually start at a very young age.
Hello friends,
I sat at my wooden desk on the third row, fifth seat, and waited. Lunches in paper bags or Roy Rogers lunch boxes filled the small classroom with the smell of bologna mixed with peanut butter. But what we savored most was the sweet aroma of the heart-shaped cookies on the teacher’s desk.
Row one started the process of delivering their Valentine's cards. My mother had just permed my hair, again. The results did not turn out well. Still, I clutched the small red box decorated with crepe paper and pink hearts with promises of friendship.
“Be mine!” “Best Friends!”
Everyone gave and received a Valentine. I wondered if every Valentine represented a friend. Would anyone want a friend with frizzed hair?
That fourth-grade year taught me about the power of words. They can cut, or they can heal. I learned that not everyone will be your friend, but your best friend doesn’t laugh at you.
Your best friend doesn’t mind frizzy hair. She still plans sleepovers and shares secrets on the playground. She never calls you names.
We all want and need friends—those who travel with us through life. Some stroll with us for a season and others stay on the edges but are only a text or phone call away. You may even have a forever friend who never laughs at you and always, always, stands by you.
I’ve discovered other lessons on my way through life. Friendship begins with me. The more I take care of myself and accept myself, the more I care for others. I give space to being our truest and best selves.
We don’t need a designated day or month to celebrate friends, make new friends, or be a friend. The words of a song I sang with my children come to mind.
“Friends are like flowers, beautiful flowers. Friends are like flowers in the garden of life.”
Every day should celebrate kindness and friendship. Wouldn’t that make for beautiful gardens around the world?
Do you remember the show “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” If the contestant got stuck on a question they could use one of their lifelines, “Call a friend.”
Your challenge this week: Call, write, or visit a friend—or someone who needs a friend.
BTW: Fortunately, hair grows out. I left that school year without any permanent damage to my self-image and found many friends that I cherish.
I’ve been trying to cultivate a new friendship with myself through the proper care and feeding of my muse.
Enjoy these friendship scenes from the movies and Sheldon’s friendship algorithm for the more process-oriented.
Need a song for a friend? Here are a few: “You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” “That’s What Friends Are For,” and everyone needs “Good Friends and a Glass of Wine.”
“One of the tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences. Often secrets are not revealed in words, they lie concealed in the silence between the words or in the depth of what is unsayable between two people.
—John O’Donohue
Find a little wonder this week. Maybe you invite a friend to join you.
With gratitude,
Kathryn
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I was poor and always hungry as a child, but I was happy. Lol. I do miss many childhood moments, some days I would go back. Other days, nope.
Every day should celebrate kindness and friendship. Wouldn’t that make for beautiful gardens around the world?
And kind hearts too.